Being ourselves in new or unfamiliar situations can be challenging. Being ourselves on an online dating site is, let’s face it, is really challenging.
Online we often judge each other two dimensionally even though we’re multi-dimensional people. The nuances of real life human interaction are difficult, if not impossible, to replicate online, so we have to rely on words, images, videos and other media to express ourselves.
Online spaces tempt us to be something we’re not. In real life there is no pause button that gives us time to get the spinach out of our teeth or the toilet paper off our shoe, no magic filter that perfects our <insert body part of choice>. It’s real, like it or not. I believe that’s why we have a sense of humor.
The problem with photo filters, those slight number ‘adjustments’, or putting anything out there that isn’t real is, it’s not us. Maybe it gets us liked, starts a conversation or even results in a first date but it’s false advertising and ultimately disappointing for everyone involved. Can your shining personality overcome those ten pounds or ten years? Maybe so. But why take the chance on starting what you hope to be a healthy relationship with a lie?
There is an alternative – we can be ourselves. We can let go of the camouflage. We can stop allowing other people’s ideas of beauty or desirability control our presentations. For those seeking true connection, people will respect and love us more for taking the risk and being who we are.
Own your power to be the real you.