Are you all familiar with the five love languages? We’ve recently become fascinated with them. If you’re not familiar, let us quickly catch you up to speed.
A very wise man named Dr. Gary Chapman has identified five primary love languages that every person can relate to. These “languages” help inform people on the most meaningful way they receive love, and can ultimately help humans connect to others.
As huge fans of compatibility and the crucial role it plays in relationships, we’re quickly falling in LOVE with this idea. Here’s a breakdown of the five languages and the ways you can use them to love your significant other, good friends and family better.
First, Words of Affirmation. If this is your significant other’s love language, the words, “I love you” or “I’m proud of you” likely hold the weight of the world. Affirming their appearance or verbally acknowledge something they’ve done can be incredibly meaningful as well. Even a note in the kitchen or tucked away in your their bag hits a soft spot.
Second, Acts of Service. This sounds so mundane, but for many, tasks as simple as doing the dishes or going to get the oil changed so your person doesn’t have to think about it speaks volumes of love. By taking some of the burden of your significant other’s responsibilities, you can affirm your love.
Third, Receiving Gifts. Many mistake this love language as shallow and materialistic. What makes this language special is the thoughtfulness that goes into it. When you give someone who has receiving gifts as their love language, you don’t simply grab them a random gift when you’re out and about — you put thought into it. You remember that band they mentioned months ago and get them tickets when they’re least expecting it. You spend time creating them a beautiful photo album or refinishing an old piece of furniture you saw them point to in a thrift store.
Fourth, Quality Time. Quality time is all about moments of connectedness. If you want to love someone well whose love language is quality time, put your phone away and give them your undivided attention over dinner or an activity. Go on a walk with them, ask them thoughtful questions and make them feel that they are the only person in the room who could win your affection.
Fifth, and last, Physical Touch. Contrary to how it sounds, this is not all about sex. For a person who needs physical touch, it’s all about the little interactions — the hugs, holding hands, gentle touches on the small of the back, etc. Kisses never hurt anyone either.
Dr. Chapman has written multiple books on the Five Love Languages, but if you want to dive deeper into things, we recommend starting with The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. You can also take a free Love Languages Test here.