We recently had a discussion with a Sweet Pea user who asked us how soon is too soon to introduce her boyfriend to her parents. It’s a question a lot of us have been confronted with, and it led us down a path of many similar questions of too-soons and not-soon-enoughs.
We’ve polled some of our Sweet Pea staff on the questions below. The answers are the consensus. By no means does anyone need to strictly stick to these timelines… we all know the couple who fell in love and got married in six weeks. That said, we give you our best advice.
When should a first kiss happen?
Some people, as taboo as people make it out to be, kiss on the first date. If you’re really feeling things, go for it. If a kiss hasn’t happened by the third or fourth date, you may be headed for the friend zone.
When should he/she sleep over?
This one is completely up to the individual. As much as we’d like to give you a straight opinion on this one, we just can’t. What we can recommend is that you get to know a person before they come hang out in your bed. It’ll only make it that much better when they do sleep over.
When should you make your relationship “official”?
There’s a wide range for this. We know people who have dated less than a month and adopted the boyfriend/girlfriend titles, and we know people who have casually dated for six months before locking it down. Six months feels a bit long to us. Our gut tells us that somewhere between two to three months of dating is the sweet spot before becoming BF and GF.
When should he/she meet your parents?
This one isn’t so much about a literal timeline, as much as it is the seriousness of your relationship. If you think you’re going to have a person in your life for a while, it could be time to introduce them to your parents.
When should you say, “I love you”?
Simple answer. When you love them. But we can’t stress enough the power of words. Don’t throw this phrase around, it’s a meaningful thing to say.
How long should you date before you get married?
A lot of people here agree that you should date someone at least a year, which is long enough to know them through every season of life. See how they handle their anger, their stress, their successes, their failures, their finances, and so on. It’s also a great idea to see their differences with the seasons: how depressed do they get in winter? How crazy do they get in summer?
How long should you be engaged for?
This completely depends on the person. A few months may be a little short if you’re trying to plan a wedding, and more than two years feels a bit long. We’d recommend anywhere from 9 months to a year and a half.
How long should you wait to date after you’ve broken up?
Several of us have heard the rule of thumb that you shouldn’t jump into another serious relationship for double the time you were in a relationship because it takes twice as long to fall out of love with someone as it does to fall in love with them. We think that’s a little bogus because if you’ve dated for four years, that translates to eight years in the desert. Still, rebounds are only good on a basketball court.